Emotion Will Work In My Favor

I'm very disappointed in myself.  I started the week off great but then went down in flames as the week came to an end.  While I still managed to eek out a loss of 1.6 for week 2, at one point during the week I was down by 4.  Sure, 1.6 is good...for someone that has been at it for a few weeks.  So now I'm angry and I'm hoping for once my emotions will work in my favor.   Instead of giving up as I have in past, I'm going to fight harder this week!

Step One - I'm going to the aquarium!  I've never been to the Georgia Aquarium.  I was always afraid that it would be too much for me to handle.  My back hurts when I stand/walk too long.  My knees kill me when I walk up stairs.  I get out of breath any time I walk too far.   So going to the aquarium was on my list of things to do once I lost weight.   Forget that!  What better way to get in some exercise than to walk around all day?  When my back starts hurting, my knees feel like they're breaking or I start gasping for breath I'll push on a little more.  Once I can't take any more I'll sit down and rest for a bit. And then I'll start over again.

I will do good this week!   And if I start to get discouraged I'll just head over to my one and only follower Michele's page to get some inspiration!  :)

Ending Week One

It wasn't the roaring success that I would have expected in previous attempts but I'm counting it as a win.  I haven't had a soda since I started which is a major accomplishment.  And I've increased my vegetable intake which is so important in the grand scheme of thing. Now I need to step it up - start watching my calorie intake and add exercise.  

As Nehemiah said "I am doing a great work and I cannot come down".   Go me!

I Want To Stay Fat Because

My top 10 reasons (in no particular order) for staying fat are:

1. I want to stay fat because I love the challenge of sitting in the office chairs, wondering if today is the day that one of them will break when I sit down.
2. I want to stay fat so that I don’t have to worry about what to wear.  It’s so much easier just pulling on one of the 10 outfits that I can still wear.
3. I want to stay fat because I feel so much safer driving my car with the steering wheel pressed against my belly.
4. I want to stay fat so that I don’t have to buy socks since I can’t bend down far enough to pull them on.
5. I want to stay fat because I enjoy being ignored.
6. I want to stay fat because the sweat that rolls down my face at the smallest bit of exertion gives me such a glow.
7. I want to stay fat because I love obstacle courses and there is no bigger obstacle course than a fat person trying to maneuver through a crowed store or restaurant.
8. I want to stay fat because I hate nice relaxing baths.
9. I want to stay fat because my voice sound so sexy as I wheeze and gasp for air when I walk up the stairs.
10. I want to stay fat because I love having to come up with excuses not to go to family gatherings.

Day 1

Today was not the complete success that I would have wished for, but I did go in the right direction.  I had three items on my agenda that I was determined to succeed in.

Food - today was supposed to be a healthy eating day, but baring that I at least wanted to have a day without soda.   Soda accounts for a minimum of 500 calories a day for me so it's a major issue for me.   I'm happy to report that I have made it through the day without any!  As far as everything else went - I didn't do great but I didn't do terribly bad either.  My calorie count was higher than I intended (right at 2000 - I wanted to start at 1800) and I ate only one veggie serving and one fruit serving.   Tomorrow my goal is to avoid soda and eat more fruits & veggies, and try to get my calorie count down to 1800. Anything else will be a bonus!

Activity - because I'm so obese I avoid going out.  Today I forced myself to go to the mall and I walked for 30 minutes.   Doesn't sound like much, but I was quite pleased with myself because my back, knees and ankles hurt so much that I wanted to give up before I even began.  Tomorrow I'm going to walk again and I want to try to ride my exercise bike for at least 15 minutes.

Church - I need a higher power in my life.  While I believe in God and Jesus, I have to admit that I haven't attended Church in years.  Originally it was just that there was always something else that I felt I needed to do more.  But the last few years it's been because of my weight and my desire to avoid interacting with people.  Now it's become a issue of even if I go to church 1) can I walk all the way from the parking lot to the church and 2) will I fit in the seat/row?  So for the first few months of 2012 it is my intention to attend "online" services.   I attended today's service which was about helping one - instead of being overwhelmed with the desire to help everyone, find one person or one family this year that you can help for the long term. Someone that you can help not just by giving money but by giving time.   I'm excited because I know that the more I can help someone else, the more it will help me - less time to eat, less time to feel sorry for myself, etc.   Now I just need to figure out where I can find the right person to help.

To New Beginnings

What exactly is the purpose of this blog?  It's simple - it's to be my written haven.   A place to celebrate my successes, to confess my failures and a place to reflect on all the choices I will make in 2012.

Do I expect others to be interested in my blog?  No, I don't expect it.   I doubt that I will ever have anyone read this but myself.  But I would love to think that maybe, just maybe that someone will come upon it and see themselves in something I write.  And maybe, just maybe that someone will feel better knowing that they are not alone.

What is my New Year's resolution?  To be healthier and to be happier.   2012 - BRING IT ON!